Because my left side was improving, in 2017, I tried the British Cycling National Para-cycling Road Championships again.
My wife, Annika, has rightly told me any completed race nowadays is a success – regardless of the actual result. And despite the full use of only one leg, I finished in 11th position – a great improvement on being classified as “DNF” (did not finish) in 2016. I now had a clear target for 2018, too.
My coach, Paul, has been a fantastic help in setting me a training programme with great understanding and patience necessary due to my physical deficits. In 2017, despite my difficulties, the choice to continue competing led to me riding 30 events – a lifetime’s record for one season and it was hugely satisfying to have progressed that far.
The following year started well; in the May of 2018, I rode one main objective for the seas
on – a local hilly ride of 15 miles in which I was rather slow the previous year thanks to a south-westerly gale and pouring rain. I knew I was riding better when I slashed 12 minutes from the previous year’s result. My weekly evening events also showed me to be well ahead in my fitness compared to 2017 and in June, the national championship came around again.
It was a nice, warm, still day and I rode as best I could for the 14-mile time trial (a solo ride against the clock). The winner, a para-Olympian rider in fact, overtook me after about five or six miles. I chose not to try to catch him because he disappeared into the distance far too quickly. Nevertheless, I finished in fifth place in my para-cycling category.
As an afterthought, I can add that this result is, undoubtedly, the most satisfying race result of all my 36 years’ racing, simply because of all the hurdles I have overcome to get there. I have a very tough challenge next year at the championship to better that. I shall try my best, and in that I have no choice.
If I had listened to the negative attitude of those who suggested I give up, I would not have achieved this. So my advice to others is nil desperandum. Some things you never get over and you just have to get through. That is what I am doing, getting through.
New targets
I can only be honest and say now I’ve no real veterinary career left – my life revolves around my wife, son and my sport. For years in practice I had dreamed of not working at nights or at weekends, and to be able to train and race more. However, my current situation is not quite what I had in mind. It was a real shock to be told I wasn’t expected to live, but here I am.
One astute lady pointed out I was target-driven – having to pass all of those exams, plus my competitive cycling – and so told me to develop new targets. I believe my racing achievements have been moderately good for the past few years, and, especially, are not too bad for “a dead man”, so to speak.
In short, what has the choice of my sport meant for me? It has been a very important part of my life outside of work, allowing me to think and focus on non-veterinary matters, to meet similar-minded folk and it has taken me to foreign lands. Being physically fit enough to compete in many very long races meant no veterinary task left me physically exhausted – not prolapses, calvings and not even 30 cow de-hornings in one afternoon.
Those days are gone, but I still have targets at which to aim. As noted at the beginning, I am sure no one had any idea how my choice to cycle everywhere would become a deep passion and was a momentous decision in my life. I hope others have similar opportunities and are lucky enough to make the best choice as well. Competition now is just as tough as it ever was, but if it was easy, it would not be worth doing. Exactly like choosing a veterinary career in fact. I recommend choosing cycling as a great stress-buster for people in this career, but without the crashing part.
Veterinary memories
I have not worked since my accident and it required two years for me to get used to the idea of not being a proper vet and not getting my hands dirty. I still miss daily contact with the animals and even miss some of the people as well, but not all of them. I maintain CPD in subjects that interest me to keep my damaged brain functioning and for the social contact as well. In October 2015, I was awarded advanced practitioner status for sheep and welfare, based on work done in the past as I could not work in practice anymore. At least the award perhaps showed my five years at university were not completely wasted.
While I recuperated at home, Annika suggested I write my old talk down and try to get it published (for women’s institutes and so on). This I did and, in 2016, Quiller Publishing released my book Cows In Trees. Is it bad to confess I laughed at my own memories of the tales as I wrote them down? At least it showed not all of my memories fell out through the hole in my skull. It did raise my spirits as well to write and be published. A good choice to follow my wife’s suggestion as things turned out.
My injuries were life-changing, but not life-ending. During my convalescence, I came across the following by Alfred Lord Tennyson, which I feel describes my attitude to my choices and philosophy after my accident:
“…Though we are not now that strength which in old days moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are, one equal temper of heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in will to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”
Ergo, my choice has been not to yield.
Acknowledgements
I have always tried to acknowledge the fabulous support and help – first and foremost from my wife and family, for going above and beyond the call of duty, but also thanks to my excellent consultant Gerry O’Reilly at Hull, for his technical skill and positive attitude since. May I also thank my professional colleagues, such as at the Sheep Veterinary Society – that most friendly of veterinary societies – all my former colleagues, including those from practices where I worked more than 30 years ago, plus my university friends who helped me through the five years at Liverpool.
A big thank you is also due to my cycling friends. This included a lovely card from Olympian Laura Kenny (Laura Trott as she was then). The Lincolnshire cycling fraternity, which clubbed together at the next race after my crash and donated £200 to me for a new helmet, new jersey and so on. These were people I had known by sight for years, but rarely by name.
In August 2017, after a hilly club event of 18 miles, which I had not ridden since 2004, I finished in a modest time, but all of the club were waiting to applaud and cheer me over the finish line. I was deeply moved by this support.
Mr O’Reilly mended my fractured skull, but my friends, family and colleagues have saved my spirit. Thank you all, I would not be here without any of you.
Afterword
With the great wisdom of hindsight, do I regret any of these decisions? No. No other sport could have enriched my life as cycling has and I have, ultimately, managed to juggle my career with my sport – notwithstanding the limitations of the hours in the day. I can safely say that, even after my accident, there are positive outcomes – I do not have the huge burden of running a practice on my shoulders and do have the free time that retirement creates, even if not exactly as I had planned.
It doesn’t matter what happens to you, it is what you choose to do about it that really counts.